


Lover Unknown

by cjjade



Series: The Unknown [1]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst, Bev gets adopted by Richie's family, Depression, Fluff and Angst, Good Parents Maggie & Wentworth Tozier, M/M, Minor Eddie Kaspbrak/Stanley Uris, Mostly Canon Compliant, Past Bill Denbrough/Beverly Marsh, Year is current not 90's, not graphic suicide attempt, set in their teen years
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:15:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22273921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cjjade/pseuds/cjjade
Summary: The evil that is Pennywise is still attacking The Losers, and this time he almost won.  Will the Losers be able to forgive and move on, or is the damage just too much to come back from.This started out as a 1500 word Challenge and sort of grew from there.This isn't an anti-Stan story, it's all going somewhere.
Relationships: Bill Denbrough/Stanley Uris, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Series: The Unknown [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1650325
Comments: 8
Kudos: 50





	1. Richie Tozier is an Idiot

**Author's Note:**

> I was asked to write a story by my friend Mel. She then asked me if I would continue it, and I agreed. But this first chapter is the original challenge. See ending notes. 
> 
> Thank to my lovely beta reader Jacey!

**Lover Unknown: Richie Tozier is an Idiot**

Richie remembered the day Stan and Eddie came together hand in and hand. Because it was the day he felt himself break in half, and it was also around the day he started to avoid Eddie and hate Stan. Maybe hate was too strong of a word, but then again maybe it was close. That was three months ago, three months of watching his best friend fall in love with the boy he knew Richie loved. Three months of Stan kissing Eddie, holding Eddie, and bringing him gifts because that was what a guy like Stan did. Three months of Stan using everything Richie ever told him about Eddie to his advantage. 

Each day got harder and harder for him, he just wanted to scream. He did a couple times, everyone looking at him then he’d just walk off. Bev would chase after him. He couldn’t stand when Eddie looked sad. When he lost his temper yelling at them to get a room or whatever else came out of his mouth Eddie would freeze. So he left because if he didn't he’d break. He slowly distant himself from Eddie, making excuses, sitting by Mike or Bill instead. He would always sit so he couldn’t see Eddie or Stan. He would avoid the club house unless he was arriving with someone not Eddie or Stan as well. 

He thought he had been clever, he thought no one noticed. Eddie noticed. Eddie corner him about coming over, Richie couldn’t say no. He looked so innocent, he couldn't tell him no. But then called claiming he was sick with a bad cold. They both knew that Sonia would quarantine him if she heard one cough out of Richie's mouth. Eddie tried to argue but Richie hung up pretending to having a coughing fit. His heart broke in a million pieces as he starred at the phone. He didn’t want to hurt Eddie. He didn’t want to avoid him or cancel plans when it wasn’t Eddie's fault. Maybe he could explain that he was completely in love with him. That it was just too hard to be around, he needed space.

That was the new plan, but his luck sucked. 

Eddie found him at the arcade a couple hours later. His brown eyes wide as he saw Eddie with a group of other boys. Richie heart stopped, “Eddie,” he had started but Eddie ran away. He looked utterly shattered. Richie didn't think twice, he took off running after him. Richie felt like his own heart was being ripped out. Eddie looked at him like he didn't know him, like every wish and dream had been burned. He had only ever looked that broken when Sonia would refuse to tell him about his father. There was a letter he wrote when Eddie was born, she to this day would not let him read it. She read it to him, and the words always changed.

That was why he was now entering into Eddie’s room for the first time in months. He slipped in the window like he had a million time, shocked it was still unlocked. He could hear the whimpers before he saw him. Then he saw him on the ground knees to his chest. Richie felt like someone had kicked him in the gut. For a moment he could not breathe, he felt like trash. He had betrayed one of his best friend's trust because he couldn’t just admit the truth. He was jealous-- he was gay.

“Go away,” Eddie begged burying his face into his knees.

“Can I explain,” Richie asked softly, looking down at his hands.

“No,” Eddie snapped, but Richie could hear the pout.

“Eddie,” Richie begged his own voice broken.

“You don’t get to sound like that,” Eddie told him his face scrunched up in anger. Richie wanted to smile, he looked cute angry. “When did you start to hate me.” Richie gasp unable to breath. “Is it because I’m gay.”

“I don’t hate you,” Riche swore going to his knees, time for the truth. “Quite the opposite actually.” Eddie rolled his eyes angrily wiping his face. “I’m serious.” Richie grabbed Eddie by the face. “I love you Edward Kaspbrak." Eddie looked confused. "Seeing you with Stan hurts too much.”

“You," Eddie started then stopped. "You told me you thought of me as a friend,” Eddie whispered eyes wide full of agony. Richie was confused. “You told everyone.”

“Oh my god,” Richie groaned painfully closing his eyes. “I didn’t…I thought…I.” Eddie had asked him to dinner, then when Stan made a comment about their date he had stuttered. That was why Eddie had gone quiet. “I didn’t realize it was a date.”

Eddie wanted to kill Richie. He had asked him to dinner. He had taken him to an all ages comedy show beforehand because why not make it special. Richie had loved it. He talked with the comedians afterwards. All of them had been more than willing to talk to Richie. They had been more than willing to give him pointers and advice as an aspiring entertainer. Eddie had enjoyed watching Richie be so free. He looked more open than he had been in years. One of them gave Richie a few locations that allowed minors or put on shows for minors. 

The place Eddie picked was one of Richie's favorite. The show and restaurant were both outside of Derry. One because not much had changed and two his mother. Richie had not stopped talking, just went on and on about everything. Eddie recalled sitting there so entranced by him. His smile was genuine, his eyes were bright, and he looked good. People thought Eddie was the one needing to be freed, but no one understood Richie and Bev's home life. The Toziers were your cliché hippies, all free love with advise to be yourself, and trust the universe. No one would understand how much pressure that would produce. When you are so free to be whoever you are, that you are terrified because you have no clue how to figure that out.

The moment Richie laughed saying it wasn’t a date, just two friends having a good night out. Eddie face fell, Bill and Stan watched him. Watched him crumble, he walked away to compose himself. Stan was a good friend. When he asked him out, Eddie said yes. Stan was nice, and he liked Stan. When Stan kissed him he kissed him back, because it felt good. Stan went to Sonia, asked her permission to take him out every time. Stan never left anything out when he spoke to Sonia, she always knew where they were. Sonia liked Stan, he came over weekly for dinner, he followed every rule she set. 

Stan was perfect. Except he wasn’t Richie.

“I bought us tickets to a comedy show,” Eddie told him watching Richie open his mouth. “I made reservations at a restaurant that for some reason you love.” Eddie was shrieking, his pale skin turning pink.

“I love their brunch,” Richie corrected, then frowned. Eddie was going to kill him. This was how he, Richie Tozier died. “Wait." Richie stated looking at Eddie who looked angry still. "You dating Stan was because you couldn’t have me.” Richie face lit up.

“I like Stan,” Eddie argued insulted, he did like Stan. Stan was a good boyfriend. 

“But you like me more,” Richie smirked laughing as Eddie look away. Richie frowned as Eddie looked up at him, his eyes sad. "I should go." Richie stood up he wouldn’t steal Eddie away. He wasn't that type of guy, he wouldn't betray his friend. “Stan is good for you.” 

Eddie stood up, wiped the tears that were falling. He wanted to jump into Richie's arms, he wanted to kiss him, but he also knew he couldn't. He was with Stan, and he truly did care for him. Sure he loved Richie, but Richie and he were always different. Richie had been his first kiss at ten when they wanted to know how it felt. Richie had been the one who checked on him after Pennywise. Richie was his best friend, knew him better than Eddie knew himself. So of course he loved Richie. 

Richie smiled wiped the last of his tears away, this was best. Walking away from Eddie, that was best for everyone. He climbed out the window, holding in his tears. He ran home straight past his parents upstairs to Bev's room. He never spoke a word, she would never ask him what was wrong. She just held him as he cried, rocking him back and forth. She just told him everything would be okay, they'd make it okay. She just did to him what Richie did for her after she came to live with them. For this one moment she was his strength. 


	2. Outed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan is angry while everyone else is confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep getting asked, Stan actions are leading up to something I swear. Pennywise is dead, I may doing another story after this. We'll see how this goes. 
> 
> Thank You Jacey! I know how much you dislike IT so thank you so much for beta reading!

**Lover Unknown: Outed**

Eddie was sad. He knew he shouldn’t be, that there was no reason to be. Stan was a great guy, he was perfect. He was kind and loving, his mother adored him, and he didn’t have stupid ridiculous nicknames for Eddie. He knew what Eddie was saying and didn’t give him goofy looks. Once school started again Stan waited for him, brought him lunch on the days he woke up late. Saved him a seat in the classes they had together. The past almost five months had been amazing. 

Except Stan wasn’t Richie. 

Richie who walked into school like he owned it not caring if you were in his way or not. Richie who told the poor freshman girl next to him to move because he came into class late. Eddie giggled as Stan rolled his eyes disapproving. Richie who stole food off Eddie's tray with a wink then laughed when Stan told him to get his own. Richie with his untamed curly dark hair, dark rimmed oversized glasses, and now dangling sun/moon earring. An earring that Stand and Mike wondered if he stole. Eddie knew he didn’t, it was his mother’s. She lost the other one at one of their bonfires a few years back. 

Walking through the courtyard he could hear yelling, which wasn’t an unusual thing honestly but then he heard a laugh. He knew that laugh, that was Richie’s laugh. It wasn’t the type of laugh that came from a joke or humor that was his "I am going to laugh so I don’t hit you" type of laugh. Eddie looked around expecting to see Henry Bower or one of his followers attempting to push Richie around. That hadn’t worked since Richie grew taller than most them and broader. 

Henry hadn’t tried anything since last year when Richie broke his nose. Both Henry’s dad and Richie’s parents had done nothing. Well not nothing, Richie had been forced to talk about what drove him to such a violent act. Bev had sat back smirking for almost two hours until he faked cried. Henry’s father refused to allow his son to press charges. Since then Henry stayed out of Richie’s way, and Richie had stayed out of his. Who Eddie saw yelling was Stan. Stan was yelling and screaming at Richie while Bill tried to calm his friends down. Ben was standing next to Richie confused as Beverly stood next to her adoptive brother, her face showing her anger. 

None of them talked about Pennywise or what they did but shortly after Richie had gone to his mother. Richie had told Maggie about some of the things Bev had told them, some of the things that he had been shown. His mother had made a few calls, before school started Bev had been removed and placed with them. Bev trusted Richie and she clicked with Richie’s older sister, Victoria too. The summer before they entered High School was the summer they had filed for adoption. Bev loved being a Tozier, she felt safe there, she felt loved. The things about his family that made Richie roll his eyes were the things that Bev loved, so he did them for her. Eddie knew without a doubt if Stan didn’t stop she’d pounce.

Eddie didn’t know that Bev had smacked Richie upside his head, tried to tell him it was a date. She then went to their parents who forced Richie to do a feeling circle. He didn’t speak to her for almost two days because she knew how much he hated that stuff. Sitting in a circle listening to his parents preach about open communication, young love, and exploring oneself while mixing in past stories. Richie stood by it wasn’t a date because he wasn’t gay. Bev knew he was, but also knew he was resisting. She had no idea why. She was also the one to comfort him after he walked away from Eddie almost two months ago. She still didn’t know what happened, but she knew something broke his heart.

“Stan,” Eddie screamed as Stan punched Richie, then watched as Richie swung back. “Stanley!” Eddie shrieked as Bill and Mike pulled them apart, Mike shoving Richie back. “Richie are you okay?” Eddie eyes wide dropping to his knees where Mike shoved him.

“Is Richie okay,” Stan barked wiping the blood away from his nose.

“You attacked him,” Eddie snapped back moving Richie's hair out of the way.

“Stan,” Mike whispered putting his hand on his friend's shoulder.

“I’m the bad guy,” Stan grumbled looking at everyone.

“Of course not,” Bill told him gently looking at Richie with a frown. “Stan may have swung first, but Richie didn't need to attack.”

“Excuse me,” Bev hissed taking a step towards her ex. Their breakup had been decent, except Bill still didn’t understand it. Mike opened his mouth to speak but Ben shook his head no eyes going wide. “My brother was here headphones on minding his own business when Stan came over like a maniac.”

Richie was so confused; he didn’t know what was going on. One minute he was laying on the ground headphones on as he waited for Bev to get done with whatever she was doing. She had been helping Ben out a lot lately. Richie was happy for Ben. He had been in love with Bev since he first saw her all those years ago. Somehow the poem she hopefully suspected Bill of writing came out as Ben’s. Stan thinks that was what caused the breakup it wasn’t.

Bev was passionate about fashion, something she picked up from their mother and sister. Victoria was away at college, but her presences was always known due to Bev. Sometimes he forgot Bev hadn't always been in their family. Bev being a month older than him meant he was still the baby. Something his mother would coo at; she loved her little boy. Richie counted himself lucky. His parents were mostly normal, unlike many in his town. But Bev didn’t break it off for Ben, they were still just friends. She broke it off because she didn’t feel anything. Being friends with Bill was no different than being his girlfriend.

Looking up at Stan, Richie didn’t know what was happening. Stan was his best friend. Sure, Eddie was his favorite person in the world, the one he loved, the one he’d die for but Stan was his best friend. He had done everything he could to not come between Stan and Eddie. He had walked away from Eddie that day, both of them knowing it was the right thing to do. He only sat by him in classes and the occasional lunch. When Eddie got too in his head, he’d pull a prank or steal some food. Eddie would look at him all smiles, and he felt like someone was ripping his heart out. He wanted that smile near him always.

Now he was sitting on the ground fat lip, as Eddie’s soft hands caressed his face. His sad eyes large with sorry as he checked him over for injuries. Bev yelling at Bill, as Ben tried to stop Mike from getting involved. When Bev got angry it was best to let her do her thing. She wasn’t like Richie. She didn’t get so angry that punching a wall until his knuckles bleed was the only relief. No, she would yell then mediate with their parents. His dad said they were opposites. His mother swore they were always meant to be siblings. That was the only reason their parents allowed them to get their yin/yang tattoo on their wrist. 

“No one else is going to say anything,” Bill demanded turning from Stan’s face to look at Mike and Ben, then back to Stan.

“What do you want us to say Bill,” Ben asked looking at Stan’s bloody nose and swollen eye then to Richie’s fat lip. Watching as Bill gently checked Stan’s face. “Stan came over here screaming at Richie who was literally laying on the ground next to Mike waiting for Bev and me.” Bill turned towards Ben, hands still on Stan’s face. “Stan swung at Richie when he started to walk away instead of engaging in whatever fight Stan was looking for.” Bill opened his mouth. "Richie was reacting to being hit, but he did try to walk away." Ben raised his voice a little.

“Sorry Bill,” Mike sighed deeply, he didn’t want to pick sides. Mike knew no one did really. “Ben is right.” Mike frowned at Stan who still looked like he wanted to fight Richie or maybe anyone. “He came over here looking for a fight.”

During this all, Richie could only think about Eddie’s hands on his face. They were warm despite it being late October, Halloween was just days away. He could smell those candles Eddie mom always burned mixed with tobacco on his clothes. But more so he could smell Eddie. Eddie’s scent was one he had memorized. It was a salty-sweet earthy scent. It was a scent that brought a smile to his face because it made Richie miss summer. Eddie always reminded him of summer and sunshine. Maybe that’s because when Eddie smiled it was like the whole room just light up. 

Richie’s eyes met Eddie’s and for this one moment everyone else went away. Eddie was so scared. He had no idea what was going on, all he knew was that Richie was hurt. All he knew was that Stan had hurt Richie and no one knew why. Stan had come up to Richie screaming looking for a fight for reasons unknown. Mike who usually agrees with Bill because Bill was their leader. He was the one who always knew what to do, he did what was right. But he also had a soft spot for Stan, and Richie liked to push buttons. There had been a few times that Mike had almost hit Richie himself, but today he was siding with him. 

Eddie knew what this was about, it all hit him. The way Stan didn’t think he could fight off Richie’s advances. Stan didn’t listen to him when he told him Richie wasn’t trying to steal him away. Stan was stuck on the fact that because Eddie felt strong feeling for Richie, Richie would swipe him away. Everyone knew Eddie loved Richie, everyone knew even though Richie denied it he loved Eddie too. It was like the more Richie tried to do right by his best friend the more Stan thought he was doing the opposite. 

“Tell me what is going on,” Eddie demanded from Stan, Richie looked up at him dazed and hurt. “Why are you trying to fight Richie?”

“He thinks Richie is trying to steal you away from him,” Bill frowned looking at Richie’s busted up lips, he needed to get some order back.

“Richie isn’t gay,” Mike laughed looking down at Richie who was turning white.

“Stop with that,” Stan yelled, Richie breathing starting to raise. Bev opened her mouth to stop him, but... “Richie is gay!”

“Stan,” Eddie snapped feeling Richie start to shake, his hands gripping Eddie's until they hurt. Richie felt sick, his chest felt heavy, he couldn’t breathe. 

“Tozier is gay,” someone yelled at Stan, suddenly everyone was looking at their group. Suddenly everyone was looking at Richie with wide knowing eyes. Eddie said Richie's name but he couldn't hear.

“Get Richie out of here,” Eddie told Bev, he knew that look, Richie wasn't with them anymore. 

Bev nodded as she picked up the keys from the ground tossing them to Ben who ran towards the parking lot. Ben had not seen Richie have one of his panic attacks, but Eddie and Bev had talked about them enough. When emotions got to high Richie just shut down. His breathing went erratic, he started shaking, and he lost the ability to see anyone. Anyone that wasn’t Eddie or Bev. Ben ran to the truck to start it, he knew Bev would want to get him inside and out of here before someone else said anything. Ben knew he couldn’t react his job was to get Richie home. He would worry about everything else later.

As Ben took off Eddie looked at Bev who gave him a worried look, she didn’t like it when Richie got like this. Bev watched Eddie whisper something in his ear watched him nod, then he stood up. Bev took his hand in hers and they walked slowly to the truck. Eddie watched as everyone watched him walk away, a few students looked at him sad. A few girls giggled, some of the guy looked away. Richie didn’t look good; they knew what happened to Henry last year. That was Richie in full control of himself, what would he do now if he thought someone was saying something. 

Eddie sucked in a deep breath as he watched Ben pull up for them, Bev opening the door and getting inside like normal. Richie followed, shoot a look back towards Eddie who smiled and waved. He then turned around to look at Stan who still looked angry, but Eddie didn’t care. Mike stepped forward like he was going to stop him, but Eddie shot him a warning look. Mike froze, Eddie may be smaller than he was but that look was lethal. It took him back to years ago, fighting an evil they don’t talk about. 

“You just outed your best friend.” Eddie said voice low, a mix of angry and broken. He looked at Bill giving him an angry shrug. “No comment this time, did Stan finally cross a line you can’t defend.”

“It’s not like that,” Bill mumbled looking down then back at Stan.

“I want an answer Stanley,” Eddie demanded Mike looked over to Bill who looked at Stan. “What is going on with you.” Eddie was so confused. “Richie is your best friend, and you just attacked and humiliated him in front of our whole school.”

“Maybe we should leave you two alone,” Mike said looking at Bill who looked uncomfortable. 

Stan said nothing but nodded at Mike as he shot a look to Bill who gave him a matching look. Stan motioned for Eddie to follow him Eddie almost didn’t want to but did anyways. Bill gave Eddie a smile, Eddie shot him a glare. Bill knew he deserved that, he deserved what was happening. Everything was falling apart, and he didn’t know how to stop it. One day they were a perfect group of friends. He was with Bev, Richie was goofing around, Eddie was yelling at him about bacteria while Mike was laughing at it. Then Stan changed it all.

Stan had found a poem, Bev’s poem. He revealed to her that the handwriting wasn’t Bill’s, it was Ben’s. Ben admitted he did have a crush on her, but he understood she only saw him as a friend. Bill felt no jealousy that poem had been written years before. Ben was an honorable guy. But then Bev broke up with Bill shortly after Prom, and he had been shocked. The breakup was decent, there was no yelling or crying. Bill had just nodded, they hugged, and nothing really changed. Maybe that’s what confused him the most. He wanted to love her, to want her, but he didn't feel it. 

Right before all that Eddie took Richie out on a date, he apparently didn’t know was a date. Eddie took the rejection well, Mike encouraged Stan to make his move. Suddenly Eddie and Stan walked into together holding hands. As their relationship started, Bill and Bev’s ended. But nothing really changed. Maybe that was the issue, nothing ever changed. 

Walking inside Eddie’s house, Stan was glad Sonia was out. Eddie had started to suspect she was dating someone or at least seeing someone because she had started to leave for longer periods. She did this every now and then, would meet someone but it never lasted. Eddie sometimes wonder silently if his father’s death was truly an accident. Eddie turned around eyes dark, he was angrier now. Something in the pit of his stomach told him he was not going to like this answer.

“So,” Eddie demanded, Stan looked down then back up. “Stanley what is going on? Why are you so obsessed with Richie?”

“I cheated,” Stan whispered watching Eddie’s face go blank.

“What do you mean you cheated,” Eddie asked, he watched Stan shift back and forth. “Are you serious!” Eddie voice was low. It all just clicked, everything started to make sense. Why suddenly in the last month he had been obsessed with Richie's feeling for Eddie. Going on and on about things can happen in a heated moment. “Who?”

“Eddie,” Stan whispered taking a step towards him to have Eddie’s hand go up, he did not want Stan touching him. Not that Stan ever touched him, god was he not attractive. 

“Richie would never cross that line,” Eddie barked, Stan had never seen Eddie sound so dark. “I want to know who?” Stan looked away from him. “I think I deserve to know that much.”

“We were studying, joking around,” Stan tried to explain rubbing his eyes. “One thing led to another…”

“WHO STANLEY,” Eddie screamed tears starting to fall, it was almost like his voice echoed through the small house. “Why won’t you tell me their name?” Stan felt nothing, he thought he would feel something. Shame, anger, but he felt nothing. He never felt anything. “Did this happen more than once?”

Stanley looked at Eddie, and once again he felt nothing. He had been waiting for the shame to hit him for weeks, but it never did. It had been so easy, so simple, no one would ever know. Every time he kissed Eddie, Stan expected to feel an emotion, but nothing came. Every time Eddie took his hand Stan had wanted it to be someone else. He knew it wasn’t fair to Eddie, he knew he should just be honest but he didn’t want this moment. Though he felt no guilt or shame he knew Eddie would be hurt. Eddie deserved more.

Eddie loved Richie. Everyone knew he loved Richie. When he told Bill and Bev, he was going to ask Eddie out, Bev laughed at him. Not in a malice way but in her way, took him by the hand and sat him down. She tried to talk him out of it. She tried to make him see it would only end up in heartache for them both. Bill then tried to talk reason with him, tried to get him to see the big picture. They wanted him to know if Eddie said yes he would never truly be with Stan. 

Stan did not listen. They walked hand in hand, Stan almost loved the look on everyone’s faces. He hadn’t planned to cheat; it wasn’t like there was some big set up for it. Afterward the first time he swore he would be faithful to Eddie; he would be perfect. And he was. He got Sonia to love him. It was to the point now he was pretending to take those vitamins she recommended. He walked Eddie to and from school, waited for him after class, brought him snacks and lunches, even started to bring an extra jacket for him. Everyone wanted him as a boyfriend.

Then it happened again. Instead of breaking it off with Eddie like he was told to Stan became obsessed. Eddie was in love with Richie, even Sonia had made comments. Stan had been watching the way Richie watched Eddie, the way he smiled at him. Stan knew things could happen. One minutes you are trying to figure out a problem the next you are infused together. He knew that Eddie would never forgive himself, and Richie well he was Richie. He hadn’t meant to out him, hadn’t meant to hurt him, but he had. Stan just wished he felt something.

“Twice,” Stanley admitted watching Eddie look away almost sick.

“Who,” Eddie asked again feeling himself lose his temper. 

“Bill,” Stan whispered watching Eddie's eye go super wide.

TBC


	3. Evil Inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe IT isn't as dead as they thought!
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was harder to write then I thought. They only want me to do four chapters, and that's pretty short for me lol. But also there's a lot of emotion in this one. I may write a sequel at some point, we'll see. 
> 
> THANKS JACEY!!!

**TRIGGER WARNING! Attempted Suicide (nothing graphic, because that's a touchy subject for me)**

**Lover Unknown: Evil Inside**

Bev watched Richie practically jump out of the truck before Ben brought it to a complete stop. She wanted to yell at him, but he wouldn’t be able to hear her. He never heard anything when he got like this. These attacks happened more often than people imagined. Only Bev and Eddie knew that. Slipping out of the truck Ben came around to grab Richie’s things while helping her inside. Both of their minds were all over the place, somehow today seemed unreal. The idea that Stan would do this just did seem right. That he would hurt his best friend in this way went against everything that they knew about Stan. 

Bev smiled at him, and his heart just fluttered. Ben had spent the last year getting into shape, not that he needed to in her opinion. Ben was perfect. Up until a few months ago he had been seeing this snobby brat Bev couldn’t stand. Ben placed Richie’s stuff on their couch, as their mother Maggie came out of the kitchen. She smiled at Ben, then her smile faded once her eyes fell on Bev’s face. Bev ran to her arms as Ben looked down, when she mouthed “Richie” Ben only nodded and pointed upstairs. Maggie walked Bev towards the couch kissing the top of her head gently.

Ben made his way upstairs slowly, their house was so comforting, maybe that was why everyone liked it. The Tozier home was warm, it was filled with pictures and various objects from the dozens of trips. They took a summer trip every year no question asked, attendance required. They always went to some tourist trap place, it was tradition. From Walt Disney World to the Las Vegas Strip to the Eiffel Tower, it didn’t matter it just had to be overran with tourist. Ben at first thought it was weird then he met Richie’s parents. Both were psychology majors with a fascinated with people and society. They were so carefree. Bev and Victoria loved it Richie wanted to die every time. 

Bev took Richie’s room after they remodeled the attic. It was supposed to go to Bev but Richie saw how much she loved his room. It was the first place in almost her entire life that she felt safe. She was supposed to be sharing a room with Victoria but ended up in Richie’s room. He always took the floor falling asleep after she did. No one said anything. When the attic was done Richie asked if either of his sister’s wanted it, Maggie watched amused while Wentworth was proud. The moment neither of them spoke up he laughed saying “cool then it’s all mine.” Richie and the losers spent that next Saturday moving everything and while Wentworth built Bev’s bed. No one asked why he was giving up his room. 

“What happened,” Wentworth asked softly as Ben came down the stairs gently, probably hopping not to alert Maggie.

“It’s not my place to say Mr. Tozier,” Ben sighed looking up towards Richie’s room, then back at Richie’s father. “He just asked to be left alone for a while.”

“You are a good friend,” Wentworth smile patting him on the shoulder. Ben knew he wanted to ask more, wanted to know more but Ben also knew he wouldn’t. “Why don’t I give you a ride home.”

“How is Richie,” Bev asked voice shaky and raw, eyes and nose rosy as she eyed the stairs. 

“Better,” Ben promised her with a reassuring smile. He watched her eyes go back and forth from him to the steps. Maggie came to stand behind her, a frown on her face. “I think he just need some time alone to collect himself before dealing with what happened today.”

“Ben is right,” Wentworth sighed looking at Bev and Maggie who both looked like they wanted to ignore Ben’s words. “Why don’t you two go pick up some dinner while I take Ben home.” Maggie shot a look to her husband despite knowing he was right. “I’ll go let Richie know we are leaving, then once we are all back we will see if he’s ready to talk or at least join us for dinner.”

Communication. That was big in the Tozier household. Both Maggie and Wentworth had hundreds of games and exercises that taught people to build on their communication skills. Ben wonders if that’s why Richie never took anything seriously or made it appear that way. He had a comeback for everything and anything someone could say. At times it was like Richie knew what they would say before they did. He was the class clown, the guy that made people laugh, the one who never shut up, Richie was Trashmouth. After meeting his parents, Ben didn’t understand it like at all. Then he met Victoria and Ben’s confusion went into overdrive. Then Bev moved in and Ben finally started to understand.

Richie spent his entire life opening-up, his parents would make him talk for hours on everything that he experienced. From watching Bambi die, to why horror films caused him to have nightmares, to his angry outburst to why he kissed Eddie at eight; everything was analyzed. Nothing happened to just happen, there had to be purpose, there always had to be a logical reason. Ben knew that was why Richie did crazy things just because. He wanted to baffle them. Only Maggie would laugh, passing it off as teenage rebellion while Wentworth would go on about asserting his independence. Ben had heard from Bev how Richie refused to come out of his room for two days.

Eddie always knew this about Richie’s family and boy did he use it to his advantage sometimes. Ben had been here a few times Eddie had tricked Maggie into doing one of her exercises. Watching with a smirk as Richie was drug off to the family room. Richie avoided that room at all cost, he hated that room. That was how all of Richie’s jokes about Eddie’s mom stopped. Wentworth and Maggie overheard one of his jokes then spent four hours wanting to talk. They wanted to get a deeper understanding as to why Richie would feel the need to make such jokes, which turned into another sex talk. Richie sometimes hated his family. 

XOXO

Eddie walked inside the Tozier household it had been almost six months since he had been here. Looking around it looked just the same, he smiled as more photos of Richie, Victoria, and Bev filled the walls. They had added what baby photos Bev had of herself. Honestly you would barely know the difference since Victoria and Richie rarely took photos together. Everyone called Richie and Bev the Tozier twins, even longtime residents of Derry never questioned it. It was sort of an unspoken rule never to mention Alvin Marsh or the name Marsh at all. Like ever. Richie and Bev even celebrated their birthdays together. It happened by accident that first year, and just stuck. Bev had never had a real birthday party. To make it less intimidating for her Richie thought it would be fun to have a joint one with their birthdays so close.

It was the last Saturday of February, they were turning fourteen years old. Richie had planned the whole thing himself; Bev loved every single thing about it. He had basically crammed everything you would expect from a child’s birthday party into theirs. The best part was he made everyone come in costumes, no costume no entry. Richie and Bev went as Raggedy Ann and Andy, Richie did not wear a wig. The only joint rule was NO CLOWNS, so Maggie brought in a magician. Maggie happily spent hours sewing their costumes, then doing their makeup. 

From that point on they were siblings. They were a family. Bev was happy, she was safe, and for the first time she was wanted. Bev trusted Richie in ways that she could not explain to anyone sometimes not even herself. When the darkness came she knew Richie would protect her. It was like the final of their demons die together. Bill was always hurt by how deeply her trust for Richie was, but Richie was her brother. It was just that simple.

Walking up the stairs he could tell no one was here. He walked past Victoria’s room that was vacant while she was away at college. She would be pack soon for holiday break though. He felt bad for Richie, Victoria and Bev always ganged up on him. Then past Bev’s room that was once Richie’s. Few knew that Richie gave Bev his comforter when he moved upstairs. He took the new one Maggie had bought for Bev then gave her his after hearing her struggle to sleep that first night. She still had it packed in her closet, just like he had his inhaler in his backpack. They didn’t need them, but you never knew when you own personal demon would attack. It had been awhile.

“Eddie,” Richie mumbled sitting up in his bed seeing him, he was about to ask what he was doing here when he saw his face. “What happened? Are you crying?”

“Stan cheated on me,” Eddie told him brokenly the tears starting again, looking down at his hands then back to Richie. “With Bill.” Richie’s shame over his outing left him, his eyes went wide and cold. Richie shot out of the bed pulling Eddie into a tight hug. “The first time happened after Bev broke up with Bill.” Richie moved them to the bed. “Bill was sad, he needed comfort, it was an accident.” Eddie mumbled repeating Stan’s words as he wiped his face.

“It happened again a little over a month ago didn’t it,” Richie guessed as it all made sense to him now. “That’s why he’s been so clingy.” Eddie nodded leaning into Richie. Richie wanted to laugh almost did, but Eddie needed him. “All the little surprises and presents out of nowhere, they were to ease his guilt.”

“He told me his only regret was me,” Eddie stuttered burying himself more into Richie. 

Richie knew that he could not have heard him correctly, because there was no way anyone would say that. No one would ever go up to the person they had been dating, someone they asked out, someone they claimed to care for, and tell them they were a mistake. There was no way someone would be the cruel that they would cause someone so kind and beautiful as Eddie to cry. It wasn’t possible that on top of betraying Eddie’s trust, Stan would also make him feel unwanted. 

Stan who had made it very vocal that Richie needed to stay away from Eddie. That Richie was bad news. That Richie would be the one that destroyed their relationship. Stan who acted like he was better than Richie for some reason. Stan who had just outed him to the entire school without a care in the world. Without a thought of what it might do to Richie. Stan who for some reason thought Richie was someone he wasn’t. They were best friends. They had been through so much together. 

As Richie leaned back with Eddie none of this made sense, none of this felt right to him. There was something itching at him, like this wasn’t right. Eddie relaxed. His cries turned to small whimpers then to just rough breathing. Soon it evened out with Eddie was just playing with Richie’s shirt sniffling every few breaths. Richie kissed the top of Eddie’s head. This was natural to them, Eddie cuddled up to him. Richie smiled back to when he thought about them in his room at eight. Richie and Eddie had seen kissing on the TV, so that night they closed their eyes and tried it. It ended with them on the floor in a fit of giggles. 

Richie did not feel right about this.

“You told them,” Richie grumbled under his breath looking at Bev a mix of shock and betrayed.

“No, she did not,” Maggie sighed taking the seat in front of him, as Wentworth sat next to her. “We got a call from two of your teachers who heard about the... _incident_.” Maggie’s voice was too even, clearly she was upset. “They wanted to check on you.”

“While we understand…” Wentworth started only to have Maggie wave her hand at him. 

“I don’t,” Maggie interrupted her eyes sad, Bev now felt horrible for not telling her, Eddie was just confused. “Did you not think we would accept you? Maggie needed to know, she needed to know where she went wrong. Her goal was to make sure they knew this, that this was a warm accepting home. “Did you think we would treat you differently?”

“No,” Richie signed leaning his head back looking over to Eddie who looked amused. “Mom you have told me since I was three you’d accept me no matter what if I was gay or anything in between.”

“Then why keep it a secret,” Maggie begged looking at Bev then Eddie, Wentworth tried to open his mouth. “No I need to know what I did wrong.”

People would assume this. That his fear of not coming out was because he would be rejected by his family. That his mother would look at him with the eyes they share and see someone she didn’t or could not love anymore. That all the dreams and hope his father held were crushed. That his sisters who loved him would now look at him differently or treat him like he was someone else. He knew that this was the great fear of many children and teens, and rightfully so. But this wasn’t his fear. 

His mother had probably known since he was born he was gay or maybe since he told her he kissed Eddie all those years ago. How had he not picked up on Eddie liking him? She had probably been waiting for him to talk to her, to want to talk about it but Richie hadn't been ready. The reason was because of this. They were going to want to talk about it, they were going to want to know every last little detail of how he knew. He didn't know yet. Poor Eddie next to him was being brought in the middle. Maggie knew Sonia. They didn’t get along, so Maggie felt she needed to support Eddie. That he needed to know he had somewhere to go.

Then after they talk and talk and talk, after they go through scenario after scenario, after Richie is just second away from wanting to cry and/or smash something he’ll hear that voice. The voice of his and Bev’s godfather. Conor O’Malley. An Irish American, who was his father’s best friend since their first day of college. Conor was also gay. They would want him to talk to Conor, then Conor would want to talk and talk to him and probably Eddie. Going on and on about stereotypes and the pressures of the world built around the LGBTQ community. Eddie liked Conor, after he started dating Stan Eddie had come to a few dinner Conor did. They’d talk, Eddie liked to talk. Richie didn’t want to talk. He just wanted to be left alone.

He also didn’t like how Eddie smiled at Conor. 

“I wanted time to figure myself out before I announced it to everyone,” Richie snapped rubbing his eyes. “Once I do that, I knew everyone would start making assumptions and having questions,” Richie looked at his father who gave him a small nod. “Have you always known? Do you have a crush? Just don’t hit on me dude?” Wentworth was there for Conor through this process, and he recalled those questions. “Don't I have a right to figure out what this means to me before I have to face everyone else?”

“Of course kiddo,” Conor told him walking into the room, kissing Bev on her head before looking towards Richie. “No one has a right to tell you how to feel.” Richie wanted to nod but he was too busy holding back a bitter comeback as Eddie smiled at Conor when Conor looked at Eddie. “How are you doing Eddie?”

“He’s fine,” Richie told Conor before Eddie could open his mouth. Conor nodded knowing differently. Richie turned to Maggie as Conor sat next to her. “Mom I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings…”

“I’m not hurt,” Maggie insisted, Conor and Wentworth both held back a laugh as Richie gave her a look. “I’m just worried you think you can’t come to us.”

“Mom,” Richie groaned loudly. “You and dad are the best parents in Derry. I swear to you I wasn’t trying to keep this from you guys,” Richie took her hand giving her his best smile, watching her smile tearfully. "I just wanted a little more time to figure out what it meant for me to be…you know...” Maggie smiled squeezing his hand realizing maybe for the first time Richie wasn't ready for this. 

“You don’t have to say it right now,” Maggie whispered Richie’s eyes going to Conor who smiled at him knowingly, then to his fathers who nodded. “You’re seventeen. I am sorry I made this about me, and it wasn’t.” Conor patted Maggie on the leg. “You know how I grew up, I just…”

“Mom you aren’t anything like Gran,” Bev told her getting up to run towards her.

Maggie was raised in a very strict Christian home. She had been taught since almost birth to never speak out of turn, to never questions, and that her father was always correct. She was to wear dresses every day, her hair had to be done, make up perfect, and she always had to smile. She needed to speak gently and calmly, and most of all she must mind her manners. She had been homeschooled until seventh grade because her father did not trust public education. She then was enrolled into an all girls school. Her brother on the other hand always went to public school. 

When Maggie began to question her teachings, her mother would rave like a lunatic. She was not allowed to ask questions. It was not proper, and she was supposed to be a proper young lady. Ladies did not ask what they did not need to know. She was to stay out of sight unless her father called upon her when company was over. Her mother had her wedding planned she even had a boy picked out. Maggie ran away the day after graduation. Her parents did not speak to her until Victoria was born. Her parents were extremely vocal about their disapproval in their lifestyle. To this day she didn't understand it, but they loved their grandchildren.

Eddie kicked Richie giving him a pointed look. Richie rolled his eyes before standing up walking over to hug Maggie. Maggie and Wentworth were very firm on their belief that if their children didn’t want to hug you they didn’t have to. That included them. Sometimes Maggie would frown once they were away but she wanted them to know they had control over their bodies. No one had a right to demand anything from them. Richie was usually very tactile, at least with his friends and especially Eddie. So that was never an issue with him, especially as a little boy. He had loved cuddles.

“So,” Conor sighed smiling as he turned to Eddie. “Eddie how is school going,” Conor asked softly as Richie walked back towards his chair next to Eddie.

“It’s fine,” Richie told him before Eddie could answer again, Eddie looked up to him weirdly.

“Did Eddie lose his voice,” Bev asked looking down to Eddie who looked as confused as Bev felt.

“Yes,” Richie stated pulling at Eddie’s arm gently to get him to stand. “I should get him home to bed before Sonia gets back.” Maggie gave Bev a strange look as Richie pushed Eddie out of the family room towards the front door.

“Eddie’s voice was fine a little bit ago,” Maggie remarked confused looking to Wentworth who laughed.

“Mom,” Bev giggled looking at Conor who was shaking his head amused. “Richie thinks Eddie has a crush on Uncle Conor.” Maggie face was still blank. “Richie was jealous.”

“It’s actually quite adorable,” Conor admitted laughing, remembering his first taste at love and jealousy.

“Maybe we should…,” Wentworth stated looking at Maggie who was already nodding.

“NO!” Conor snapped as Bev giggled again. “He’ll come to you when he’s ready. Right now, just let him figure this out…on his own.”

Conor loved them dearly but sometimes they were just a little too much.

XOXO

Richie knew something was wrong. He felt it in his gut all night. He had stayed over at Eddie’s when they saw Sonia note about going out of town for “church” reasons. Eddie never questioned her reasons for leaving, he only enjoyed them. She had food already premade for him but he tossed it out. He never wanted to ask her, but he knew she put something inside the food she made when she left for a day or so. He always felt sleepy an hour or so after he ate it. He took the garbage out so she wouldn't know. 

Richie ordered a pizza, and went to get it because the local pizza place would not deliver to Sonia's home. The last time they did a neighbor told Sonia about it, and she screamed at the poor owner about letting minors order pizza. She went on about virus and bacteria that Eddie could have consume. Eddie than spent ten hours in the ER to be told he was fine. Sonia then kept him home from school for three days because she knew when he was sick. Richie would pick the pizza up, then put it in a duffle bag and carry it in like it was clothes. He would then take the box out the same way too. Sometimes it hurt Richie, how trapped Eddie was. First with Sonia and then with Stan. Maybe Richie should have gave in those months ago. 

What hurt Eddie is that Stan rarely touched him. They’d hold hands, they kissed a few times but other than that nothing. It was almost like they weren't dating, except for the presents and Stan being over all the time instead of Richie. Eddie didn’t want to press, assumed Stan needed time. He always seem to be struggling at home. Honestly Eddie didn’t mind at the time, but now that he knew why Stan never touched him it hurt. It hurt because Stan had just assumed. Assumed that Eddie wouldn’t want to, assumed he would find it gross and unsanitary. They were together for months, and Eddie never pressed for more and Stan obviously didn’t want it. 

Richie didn’t feel good, and the last time he felt like this was a while ago. 

“Where is Stan,” Richie asked coming up to Bill and Mike.

“If you want to fight someone Trashmouth fight me,” Bill told him standing up, Richie rolled his eyes shaking his head. 

“Something isn’t right Bill,” Richie told Bill his voice dead serious. Mike looked over to Bev who was now with them worried. “I feel like I did…” Richie stopped then looked at Bev then back to Bill. "I think Stan was wrong, I think he's still in Stan."

“Our demon,” Bev whispered wide eyed.

Bev was caught in the deadlights sure but something happened to Richie down there. Something no one could explain. He didn't have what they had inside him, and because of that Richie could feel it. They figured out a part of him stilled lived inside of each of them. He had attacked them all but Stan. Stan had said his faith had dried him out, but now Richie wondered if that wasn’t the evil talking. If the space between them all now wasn't him trying one last time. 

Eddie was first. It was how he knew what to do. Sonia kept going on and on about his asthma at night, but Richie knew differently. He felt it. Then he saw it, a dark figure come out of Eddie's mouth and try to choke him. Richie woke him up, Eddie cried for an hour. The only way it died was by Eddie wrapping his hands around it, he had to think good thoughts. So he thought of Eddie's smile. He felt it get smaller, and smaller until Eddie was throwing up grey liquid. God had it smelled horrible. In his mind he knew what to do. He cleaned Eddie up, then burned everything that had the liquid on it. When he did, Eddie said he felt lighter, he finally felt happy. 

Bev came to live with them. Richie had slept every night by Bev’s side, he knew something was inside of her, something evil. He would protect her like he did Eddie. He had given her his bed, his blanket, and his trust. When the evil came to kill her Richie knew. That was the last time Bev had a nightmare, Richie killed the evil inside of her that night. Her demon had a face, her father's face. She cried as Richie made it small this time thinking of Bev free and happy. Soon the grey foul liquid was all over herself, she was gasping for air. He helped her to the bathroom, shut the door and let her shower. When she came out there were new sheets, the room totally cleaned. He covered her up with the blanket that was now hers. He burned everything the next day, and a week later he moved to his room in the attic, and she hugged their mother for the first time. 

For Bill it came the first day of school the following year--high school. Bill punched some junior that made fun of his stutter and made a few cruel references to Georgie. In the bathroom something had started to take over Bill, he almost killed that poor kid. Richie got him of the teen, man had he ran fast. Soon like Bev this foul grey liquid was spewing out of his mouth over everything. Richie yelled at everyone to get out, ordered Eddie to tell everyone to meet them at the clubhouse. Richie cleaned it all up again, he didn't want to risk anyone else touching it. Richie walked Bill to the gym lockers so he could wash up, helping him as Bill broke down. Bill wore Richie's clothes as they burned his outside the Clubhouse. Richie then took Bill to his house to recover. Bill stutter cleared up by the end of the year.

Mike and Ben had happened a year after that, Mike had stopped talking to everyone, Ben told them he was done a day later. Richie knew, the feeling was there in the back of his mind. When he confronted Mike about it, Ben was with him, they all had fought. This time his happy thought was Mike's dream of Florida or at least a beach. He saw him standing on the beach, shorts, no shirt, just enjoying the sun. He saw him looking behind him to see Ben running towards him. They were happy, then Bev showed up. Ben was the first to start spewing, Mike followed as Richie refused to give up his day dream. Bill brought them clothes, as Richie burned them all to ashes. 

Richie always knew, it was like something inside of him knew. Right now his body was yelling Stan Stan Stan like it did with them. It must have laid dormant, waiting. Richie was angry he didn't notice it before. Stan was his best friend, he should have noticed it. When they all started fighting this last few months, but Richie was so centered on losing Eddie. That should have been his first clue, Stan would never have done that. Stan knew how much Richie loved Eddie. 

Richie closed his eyes, and let his instincts take him to Stan. 

"Stan stop!," Richie yelled looking at Stan, who was looking at him then the water. "NOOO!" He could hear Bill screaming, he could hear Eddie and Bev also but his mind was on Stan right now. "Stay here!"

He knew this was the evil, he knew that this wasn't his Stan. The four watched as Richie jumped off the cliff after Stan who had just jumped off as well. The four knew they could not go after him, they could not do anything but try to get down there a different way. Bill felt like his heart was breaking into a million pieces. Stan was his, god he didn't know what he was. He was his first. Eddie picked up Richie's glasses, confused at how he would find him. 

Richie ignored the sting of the water, ignore the pain that was going through his entire body. He couldn't see he couldn't feel but his body knew where Stan was, it knew. As he grabbed him he pushed himself to the surface. Somehow he just knew how to get there. They were all down there waiting, They all stayed back as Richie drug Stan hopefully to the surface, Eddie quickly tossing Richie his glasses. They watched as Richie went to work doing CPR. Stan wasn't going to die today. 

Richie closed his eyes, every time he gave Stan a breath he remember a good time. He remember the hours in the arcade, he recalled Stan giving him a high five when he got his job. He recalled the first time they met, how they bonded over being the Jewish kid and the blind kid. He remembered Stan laughing when Richie stumbled over his words every time Eddie would smile at him. He recalled them defeating this clown once, and by hell they would do it again. Then suddenly as Stan starting spewing out grey liquid so did Richie. 

Stan looked up at Richie.

"Shh," Richie told him hugging him close kissing his hair. "This wasn't you, this wasn't you." Richie kept repeating until his breathing evened out, then he released him. "Take your clothes off, rinse off in the water there, then put the clothes on Bill is going to place on the ground." Stan started shaking again, Richie turned to them. "Don't touch us yet, we need to actually shower." Richie looked down at himself cringing.

"I am comforted knowing you know how disgusting you are right now," Eddie smiled sweetly.

"I am," Stan began then stopped wide eyed looking at Eddie and Bill. "I am so sorry."

"This wasn't you Stanley," Richie told him again taking his face into his hands. "He isn't winning, do you understand me." Stan nodded gently. "Rinse off and put my clothes on." He turned to Bill. "Get everyone out of here."

Bill nodded, as he motioned for them to follow him the way they came down. Stan stripped off his clothes, trying not to break down as Richie used the clothes to wipe off the rest of the foul grey liquid. Richie had told them, it was always a different foul smell. Stan then dipped himself into the water, almost wanting to not come back up. When he came up Richie had just finish stripping and wiping himself off as well. Stan put the clothes on quickly, it suddenly hit him they were out in the public. Stan looked to the side where the last of _it_ remained. _It_ called to Stan but he refused to listen. He would not break. 

Richie was soon by his side, there was only a pair of swimming trunks left, so they would have to do. Both Richie and Stan were freezing, it was literally days before Halloween in Maine, and they were soaking wet. Richie didn't wait, he didn't think he tossed them in an old metal trash can and set them on fire. Stan felt it inside of him, it was like he was burning too. Like something inside of him was dying. Eddie had told him, he felt weak and sick for days. Then one day he woke up, and he felt happy. Like he didn't know how sad he was until he woke up that day. Stan had wondered what that would be like. 

Richie watched them burn, made Stan stayed there until the fire was completely gone. Because like every other time Richie wasn't going to give _it_ a chance to come back again. Richie felt it. The burn sensation inside of him, he felt like he wanted to throw up again. It was begging to live. He turned to Stan who was crying, he was on the ground shaking, knees against his chest. Richie pulled him up, took his hand and led him away from here. Richie didn't let go of his hand. No even when they reach Richie's house, not even as they walked up the stairs. Richie turned the shower on and forced Stan to take a shower, he waited and watched to make sure he did it. Stan stood there with a towel around him waist dazed as Richie showered. Just looking in the mirror, like it was the first time in years he had seen himself. 

Richie put Stan to bed, and like with Bev he slept close to protect him from the demons. Only Richie knew Stanley's demons weren't just a child eating clown, they went deeper. 

TBC


	4. In Sickness and Final Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan and Richie are sick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this was supposed to only be four parts but I am cheating. There's going to be a fifth part because my muse had other plans.

**Lover Unknown: In Sickness and Final Death**

Stan could barely recall anything. Everything was blurry and his entire body ached. Looking down at himself he felt like he wanted to throw up again. He couldn’t look at Bill or Eddie, he couldn’t look at anyone but Richie. Even though he knew he caused Richie more hurt than anyone. Stan did as Richie told him, dressed in the clothing that someone had brought him. He could hear them all rushing away, could hear Bill’s tone, feel Eddie’s eyes on him. The pain intensified as Richie burned their clothes.

Richie hugged him close, his face touching Richie’s heated skin. Once Richie made sure everything was burned to ash, he took Stan’s hand pulled him along. Stan wanted to fight him, but he just didn’t have the strength. Stan let Richie take him home. He let himself get pulled into a bathroom, then the shower. He stood looking himself in the mirror as Richie took his shower. It was like he was looking at himself for the first time in months. Once in his room Stan dressed in the clothes he was given. Then he let Richie tuck him in. For the first time in a long time he felt safe, his brain felt quiet. 

Richie woke up to Stan tossing and turning around in his bed a few hours later, standing up he was prepared for this. The others all had some form of illness after their attacks. Bev ran a fever for two days and couldn’t hold down any food. Eddie ended up with a rash that somehow they had kept from Sonia. Ben and Mike ended up in the ER with what looked like hives all through their body. Bill sort of had a mix of a fever and a rash for over a week. Richie knew Stan would get sick, his body expelling the vile creature out.

“Stanley,” Richie gently spoke trying to wake him up. Stan gasped for air as he shot up. “It’s okay, it’s just me.” Stan blinked, his eyes unfocused, Richie touches his face moving his hair out of the way. “Stan can you hear me?” Stan nodded looking around. “Your temp is 103.2.” Richie explains softly lifting a bottle of water and pills up for him to see. “I need you to take these,” Stan nods, his hands shaking so Richie placed the pills into his mouth helped him with the water. “Easy, small drinks. We need to make sure you keep this down.”

Then like a few hours before Richie tucked him into the bed, kissed him on the head, watched him relax and fall asleep. Richie did feel horrible. He had not been this sick in…, well he honestly couldn’t remember the last time he was sick. But he couldn’t let Stan go through this alone. Richie was one of the only people that knew about how bad things were at home. Being the son of a Rabbi was about as much fun as one would think. Then you add the fact that Stan was openly gay now, and you could imagine how well that went over.

It didn't go over well at all. 

Stan closed his eyes trying not to thank about anything else. Not the way he betrayed Eddie, not the way he used Bill, and ultimately humiliated Richie in front of everyone. The worse part was he could barely recall any of it. He remembered bits and pieces, and they were the bad parts. The parts that fed whatever was inside of him. He lost his virginity to Bill, and he remembered none of it. Right now, he didn’t think about it, he’d listen to Richie for once. Richie watched as Stan’s body began to relax, his eyes closed slowly until his breathing had evened out. 

Richie watched him sleep until his own body’s demands were too high. Richie drank the rest of the water, swallowed a couple Advil, then curled himself on the ground. The next time he opened his eyes the sun was brightly shining through his window. Stan was still passed out in the bed but this time he wasn't moving around uncomfortably he was sleeping soundly. Richie closed the blind, smiled as Stan mumbled something into the pillow. Richie softly walked down to the bathroom.

“How is Stan,” Bev asked frowning at how pale Richie looked, she knew it was just starting for him.

“Stan,” Wentworth questioned looking at Maggie who shrugged as confused.

“He needed a place to hid for a bit,” Richie explained rubbing his eyes looking at Bev then back to his parents. “Am I not allowed to have him stay over now?”

“Don’t be silly,” Maggie told him rolling her eyes. “I just thought after what occurred…” Maggie started only to have Richie hold up his hand.

“I’m not justifying what he did to me or Eddie but,” Richie started then stopped trying to think of how to put this. “I always knew you two would accept me, there was never a doubt ever in my mind. Honestly I figured the moment I confirmed it mom would be on the phone arranging some big coming out bonfire with neon rainbows everywhere.” Richie laughed until he saw Maggie blush then look away towards Wentworth who was smiling this wide grin. “MOM! You didn't!”

“Uncle Conor put an end to it,” Bev giggled as Wentworth laughed as his wife squirmed in her chair.

“Are Stan’s parents having…,” Wentworth sighed already knowing the answer he would receive. Donald had never been the most accepting person. “Trouble with his orientation.”

Richie rolled his eyes at his father, as he got a couple more bottles of water and went back upstairs. Stan was still asleep in Richie’s bed. Richie groaned, climbed into his bed and laid next to Stan. It wasn’t like they haven’t done this before. Of course at the time neither one of them knew the other one was gay, not that it mattered. Richie looked at the ceiling, he still had not said the words out loud. He wondered if his internal fight was led by what was inside of him. Looking to the side Stan looked peaceful. 

Moving his hair out of the way, Richie smiled as his skin felt cool to the touch. He was almost scared Stan’s fever came back, and knew it probably would again. He figured Stan would be sick longer than the others in the past, since it had been active inside of him longer than the rest of them. Stan's parents still didn’t know about him, that was clear when he called. Donald had no issues with him staying over after he promised Eddie wouldn’t be here. Stan had been laying in the bed asleep. Richie informed them softly that Eddie and Stan had broken up. Richie held back every comment he wanted to make when Donald told him he was a good friend. 

Richie fell asleep, when he woke up this time it was getting dark out. Stan was laying on top of him. He was also clammy, so it was clear his fever had returned. Richie also didn’t feel the greatest, rubbing his eyes something felt off. He could noise downstairs, but it seemed so far away. God his body felt heavy, almost like he weighed a ton. Rolling over, Richie was hit with a wave of nausea. Maybe he should lie back down, at least then the room wasn’t spinning. Richie tried to stand but he couldn’t. He fell back on the bed, he prayed that this wasn’t how he died. 

“You not feeling so good are you,” Eddie asked calmly as Richie’s eyes opened, Eddie looked upset.

“What’s wrong,” Richie mumbled, then groaning as he tried to sit up.

“You need to stay in bed,” Eddie sighed his eyes trying not to go over to Stan.

“It wasn’t him,” Richie told him gently.

“Is that supposed to make me feel better,” Eddie asked broken, looking down at Stan who was passed out still. “That the only reason I had a boyfriend was because being with me caused him so much pain.” Eddie didn’t know how he was supposed to feel. Eddie knew Stan didn’t do this, it was the evil thing inside of him, but Eddie was angry and humiliated. Walking into Richie sharing his bed with him was too much for his already broken heart. “I just came over to check on you, but Stan clearly has it taken care of.”

“Eddie,” Richie tried but he was out the door fast, he had forgotten how fast Eddie could move. Richie could vaguely hear Bev yelling for him.

“He really hates me,” Stan whispered brokenly.

“He just needs time,” Richie sighed trying to sit up, but failing again. The idea of Eddie crying and hurt broke Richie, but right now he couldn’t move. “We’ll all get past this, I promise.”

Stan broke, Richie pulled him close as he cried. Bev wanted to run in, wanted to yell at Richie for obviously taking Stan side. She knew it really wasn’t Stan, she recalled when it came for her. It made her feel so small, so worthless, but then Richie saved her. He save her in a way that she could never put into words. He had taken her in to his home, made her his sister, he had protected her from a darkness that no one could understand. She didn’t even quite understand it, but Richie was well Richie. 

Richie acted like he had no care in the world. He walked into their school like he owned it and didn’t care what you thought or said to him. He had proven himself good in a fight both with his fist and his words. No one was close to what Richie was. She had no idea how school would be tomorrow, but she knew Richie would probably just walk in like nothing happened. Daring someone anyone to voice their opinion about Friday. Richie had been the one who could always feel this evil. She didn’t know why, but she knew maybe it was because of his fears. Though he kept those well hidden from everyone, well maybe not Eddie. Eddie always knew Richie better than anyone, maybe even Richie himself. 

Richie woke up a few hours later, and this time he could move. Stan was asleep again. Richie grabbed some clothes and went to shower, though honestly his body was fighting him. He did have to admit he did feel better, once he emerged again. Okay maybe that was a lie. He frowned, there was a rash and hives all over his body now. It was like he was getting a mix of what everyone else had gone through. Stan woke up once he came into the room, Richie passed him some clothes as he stumbled to shower. He was looking about the same, but Richie noticed he didn’t have a rash or hives. 

“Should you be doing that,” Stan asked worried, Richie didn’t look good at all. He looked like he needed to be in the hospital. “I'm going to get Bev, you need to sleep more.” 

“I’m already here,” Bev stated giving Stan her best smile, this was going to take some time. “Stan is right, you need more sleep.” She crinkled her nose in disgust as she tossed his dirty sheets in the hamper.

“I need to talk to Eddie,” Richie grumbled rubbing his eyes sitting on the bed out of breath. “He was crying when he left.”

“This is all my fault,” Stan mumbled wrapping his arms around himself.

“Stan no, _it_ made you do this,” Bev told him softly placing her hand on his shoulder. “While it may take some time for these wounds to heal, you are a victim too.” Stan nodded at her, but he still didn’t feel good about any of this. “They will forgive you.”

“I forgive you,” Richie told him smiling, Stan smiled back but he didn’t feel like he deserved it. “Now go home, get some more sleep too. You can face everyone tomorrow.”  
“Thanks Richie,” Stan sighed then looked at Bev giving her a small smile as he walked out the room. Bev looked at Richie. 

“Do you really forgive him,” Bev asked curious.

“He needs us now,” Richie told her standing up, his hands shaking and room a little wobbly. “Tell everyone Clubhouse after school tomorrow, no excuses.” Bev gave him a nod. “I’m serious Beverly, we can’t let him win, not then, not now, not ever!”

Bev gave Richie a nod, she understood perfectly. It had been awhile since they all hung out together, the thing inside of Stan had done a good job at separating them. Richie couldn’t handle watching Eddie being happy with Stan. Richie couldn’t handle that he had been so close to having Eddie, and he blew it. He stopped coming, and they all knew why. Then Eddie started to stop because he broke each time he’d look at Bev to realize Richie wasn’t coming--because of him. Then Bill stopped because he couldn’t keep lying to Eddie. It hurt too much, he needed to tell him the truth. Soon they were divided, and they didn’t even know it.

Bev frowned as Richie made his way out of his room to downstairs, he needed to find Eddie. He hated when Eddie cried, and Eddie had cried a lot. He was an emotional person, and Richie loved that about him. Richie was always there when the bullies came, they never touched him when Richie was around. Richie did not feel good at all, he just wanted to curl back up in his bed, but Eddie was more important. He would not have Eddie thinking he picked Stan over him, because that’s not how this is going down. Eddie is everything to him. It will not win.

Richie almost knocked on the door after seeing how high up he had to climb and knowing he would probably die if he tried. But Sonia was home today, there was no way she’d let him near Eddie. So Richie sucked in a deep breath pushed back the pain and started his normal climb. The higher he got the worse he felt, but he had to see Eddie. He couldn’t get the broken sound of his voice out of his head, the way his eyes were so sad and misty. He thanked whoever would listen to him that Eddie had not locked his window. But then curse them as he fell inside the room face first.

“Oh my god,” Eddie shrieked wide eyed as Richie fell into his room. “What are you doing out of bed?” Eddie gave him a once over, he really did look like he should be in the hospital. “Richie answer me!”

“I needed to see you,” Richie told him looking up to his face, Richie’s eyes were dazed. Eddie smiled, then Richie smiled back.

“You should be in bed,” Eddie told him helping him up, leading him over to his bed.

“Richie what are you doing here,” Bill exclaimed from Eddie’s door shocked, he had heard the crash and came back up.

“I could ask you the same question,” Richie grumbled looking at Eddie, his face full of hurt. Eddie smiled at Richie gently. 

“Bill came over to tell me Bev wanted us all at the Clubhouse,” Eddie explained moving Richie’s hair out of the way. “You are burning up.” Eddie frowned then looked at Bill. “Stay with him for a moment.” Bill gave him a nod frowning himself.

“I’m not after Eddie,” Bill laughed as Richie kept glaring at him, though in his state it wasn’t intimating. “Hopefully Stan looks better than this?”

“He does,” Richie nodded gasping for air, shaking his head as his view blurred. He felt like he was being attacked. “I think I am being hit with everything you guys had…it really doesn’t like me.” Richie held up his hand, the hives were getting bad. They now looked like welts, and his skin hurt so bad.

“You’ll be fine Rich,” Bill promised helping him to lied back gently, seeing how much it hurt when Bill touched him. “Eddie will be back soon, his mom called, she’s staying until Tuesday wherever she’s at.” 

“I saw her car,” Richie mumbled confused.

“She,” Bill smirked raising his hands to do quotes. “ _Carpooled_ with another widow for the Widows Retreat with the church.” Richie wanted to laugh, but his chest hurt too bad.

  
Eddie ran downstairs, he got whatever he hoped would help Richie feel better. Something for his fever and aches, something for the hives that were everywhere, and cream for the rash. He was so glad his mother wasn’t home, trying to sneak this upstairs would have needed a miracle. Though Eddie wondered if Richie should go to the hospital. Once he got back Richie was slipping in between being asleep and not. Eddie made him take each pill slowly, and then rubbed cream on the worse areas. He leaned him back gently looking at Bill who looked horrified. This was worse than theirs.

Bill would have to agree with Richie. It was literally like he was being attacked with everything they had been attacked with, but time one hundred. Bill thought that Stan would have it worse but apparently it was targeting Richie. Which at first didn’t make sense but Richie had been fighting this thing all along. He had protected his friends, had burned each article that had tat grey foul liquid. Richie had cared for each of them until they got better. It was like they didn’t realize it until now, somehow it was an old faded memory. How far Richie had gone for each of them. They owed Richie their lives, maybe even their souls.

Two hours later when Richie's fever hit 104, Eddie called Wentworth, there was nothing else he could do. Richie was dying, whatever he had been fighting was fighting back hard. Eddie refused to lose him.

XOXO

In a hospital room Richie laid. Once Eddie called Wentworth, he carried his son out of Eddie's house like he was nothing. They took him straight to the emergency room, while Maggie called Donald. Donald confirmed that Stan was sick as well. Stan had given them a lie about falling in and Richie saving his life. They had been arguing and Stan didn't see whatever he slipped on. Donald took him straight to the emergency room. The doctors were claiming it was probably a virus from god knows what grew in that filthy water.

Donald had been by everyday to check on him. Stan still wasn't back in school. Richie was going on day three in the ICU. 

Richie opened his eyes to a blinding light, to the sounds of beeping machines. He felt like he had something on top of his body, as he tried to move he felt like he couldn’t. He blinked a few times realizing he didn’t have his glasses on. All he could see were blurry lights and blobs that moved around slowly. His entire body ached, he felt like there were tiny little ants crawling all over him. For a moment Richie wondered if he was dead, if this was his soul leaving his body. Then he heard Bev scream his name her voice shaky, she was crying. Then he knew that he was awake. He felt her cool hands on his face, opening his eyes he smiled, he could see finally.

“Richie,” Bev gasped tearfully taking his hand into her.

“What happened,” Richie mumbled looking to see he was in the hospital, he hissed in pain when he tried to move.

“You and Stan contacted a virus son,” Wentworth told him gently stopping him from moving.

“This is why I tell you not to swim there,” Maggie told him moving his hair out of the way. “I know this time wasn't on purpose but maybe you'll start listening to me.” Wentworth wanted to laugh, knowing Richie would never listen. It was embedded in his DNA to always do the opposite.

“Sweetheart they haven’t concluded that’s where…” Wentworth stated stopping when Maggie gave him a sharp look. “Yes son, you should listen more.” Bev rolled her eyes with Maggie at his dead tone.

“Where is Stan,” Richie asked worried, if he was this bad how bad was Stan.

“He’s fine,” Bev assured him gently. “Mom called his parents and they brought him in too.” Richie nodded looking around. “You’ve been in and out of consciousness for almost three days.”

“Stan case was minor compared to yours, they think you must have swallowed more of the water,” Maggie explained her voice trembling. She looked at Wentworth, to the tale she didn't believe. “Stan told us how he slipped in, and you jumped in to save him...”

“Maggie,” Wentworth said gently, knowing Richie was still groggy. This wasn't the time. “Why don’t we go get the doctor.”

Maggie nodded sadly. She had always prided herself on allowing her children to be free and make their own decisions. From the time they were born to now she never dictated rules or set boundaries. Sure, some people had thought she was insane, thought she allowed them to get away with too much. But Victoria was in Harvard studying law, Bev was a shoo in for UCLA, and Richie well he was Richie. He cared for other before himself. He jumped into a contaminated bed of water with only a thought to save his friend. His heart was bigger than any she had ever seen. She was so proud.

But she was still their mother. She worried, later they would talk this out but right now she just wanted him safe and well. She contacted Victoria every few days to make sure everything was good with her. The one time she didn’t Victoria called worried about Maggie. Sometimes it was just a silly text, something one of them had seen but the communication was always there. Maggie knew Victoria and Bev talked daily. It filled her with such joy that they had that bond. Victoria wanted Bev to go to school near her, but her heart was with UCLA. Maggie knew she would lose Richie to California too. She knew Bev wouldn't leave without him. She knew her children were meant for more than the small town of Derry could give them. 

Stan had been in the hospital for a day and half, and then was released. His parents grateful to Richie, but she knew there were more than was behind Stan’s words. She feared that Richie had not saved him from a fall. It would explain why Richie had kept him in his room, and the cries she heard. The looks Bev kept giving him. She knew Donald was putting a lot of pressure on Stan, wanted him to live up to the family tradition. The tradition was the eldest son becoming a Rabbi. Donald had been an only child, as was Stanley. 

“Looks who is finally awake,” Conor greeted happily as he walked in with the family doctor. 

“You had us worried Richard,” the Doctor admitted looking at the machines, tapping away as a nurse came in to take his vitals.

“Does this mean he can come home,” Bev asked hopeful, no one besides family could be allowed to see him yet. She knew Eddie needed to see him.

“Not yet,” Conor told her gently looking at Richie. “But he should be able to be out of ICU tomorrow or the next day depending on the next twelve hours.” Conor explained, Bev nodded looking back at Richie. “My guess is they’ll want to keep him for a few more days after he’s moved to a regular room.”

“Guess that means no Halloween this year,” Richie joked watching Bev roll her eyes, sometimes she wanted to hit him. 

“No fever,” the doctor grinned looking at Conor who nodded happily. “And it looks like your rash and hives are starting to clear up.” Richie watched Conor let out a deep breath. “Now I want you to rest young man. Like Dr. O’Malley said, if you keep up this progress, we should be able to release you to a normal room soon.” 

“Thank god,” Victoria gasp walking into the room tearfully. Conor gave her a hug, then she kissed Bev on the top of her head. “No more playing hero little brother, you scared the hell out of me.” Richie wanted to say something but Victoria look devastated, and Bev looked terrified so he let her kiss his head. "I am serious Richard Tozier." Richie nodded, he was just so tired.

“Come on girls,” Conor said looking at Richie’s heavy eyes, and still groggy facial expression. “We need to leave him to rest.” Bev looked at Richie not wanting to leave him. “I’ll be here all night.” Conor swore kissing the top of her. 

“Uncle Conor is right little sister,” Victoria sniffled taking her Bev’s hand. “We’ll go home, make a pizza, and you can tell me more details on your status with Ben.”

Bev smiled nodding giving Richie one last kiss on the forehead, as she slipped out of the room with Victoria. Conor sat in the chair watching his god son as he drifted off to sleep. Sometimes Richie amazed him. He had such a capacity to love, to give himself to those he trusted. Richie had a loving family, when they fostered Bev it was like Richie was finally complete. You would never know they weren't biological siblings. A few of the nurses here didn't. They commented on how much Bev looked like Maggie. Conor just smiled. He loved Bev, he had no fear she'd make it. 

Sometimes he saw Wentworth inside of Richie. He would get the same look Wentworth would get right before he would do something crazy. the type of stunt Conor would have to clean up. As a child Conor had to always watch him, because one moment Richie would be next to you the next he'd be climbing the book shelf yelling "fly!" as he jumped off. Then sometimes Conor saw Maggie shining through. Every time he told a joke or helped someone out just because. When he got jealous of someone giving Eddie attention, but Eddie was oblivious to it. He had so much of his parents, but something inside of him that was clearly uniquely Richie.

Sometimes he wished he had settled down, maybe adopted a few of his own. But he had chosen a different path, and that path had led him to being the newly appointed Chief of Medicine, the first openly gay one ever in Derry. Taking Richie's hand, he hoped that his path was kinder. He really hoped that even if he and Eddie don't make it, they'll enjoy the ride of their first love. 

TBC


	5. ...and Forgiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get resolved

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU!!! courtp333 and Devisama, your comments meant the world to me.  
> THANK YOU!! to all those who left kudos, it really helped. 
> 
> This went longer than planned, and I might do a sequel where I don't have to follow someone else's rules lol. I struggle with word counts. The first chapter being 1500, and the rest 5000 was so hard. So we'll see.

**Lover Unknown: ...and Forgiveness**

Richie wanted to die. 

After two weeks in the hospital he had return home to the same treatment—well almost. Thanksgiving was in a week, and the doctor had released him to return to school after Thanksgiving break. The teachers had been accommodating, not that they had much of a choice. He would be returning just in time for the last few weeks before finals and projects were due. Everyone envied how he could just do all his homework without attending class. The teacher hated it, a few of them had tried to give him bad marks but Conor took care of them. 

Richie wanted to leave this house, he wanted to do something besides staying in his room and watching television. Victoria had returned to school a week before he got released but messaged him every single day. Bev would barely leave his side until he begged Ben to take her somewhere. He even offered to pay Ben laughed as he agreed. Luckily his job at the arcade wasn’t too desired. Sometimes he wondered that once he left if the old man would shut the place down. Once he was back in school he was back to work. He missed life outside these walls. He missed Eddie.

Eddie had not come to see him, unless he was with someone. He wouldn’t stay long Bill was usually the one he was with. At first he thought it was because of Sonia but found out that wasn’t the case on accident from Ben. Eddie was staying away from him on purpose. He tried calling and texting, but he never answered. Eddie was avoiding him. That above everything else broke Richie’s heart. He had hoped that now that he and Stan had ended maybe he’d take Eddie out. Only now it was clear Eddie wasn’t interested in him anymore, he had moved on. 

“I talked to Bill today,” Stan said gently as he sat on Richie’s bed, his face broken. Richie perked his head up. Had Bill been lying to him, was he interested in Eddie? Was he going to lose Eddie again to another friend? “Well actually Bill said hi, and I started crying in the middle of the parking lot.” Richie smiled that sounded more like it. “He invited me over for dinner.” Richie tilted his head with a smirk. “So, we could talk.” Stan rolled his eyes laughing.

“Just be honest with him,” Richie sighed looking to the side where a picture of The Loser was, his eyes going to Eddie.

“Eddie still avoiding you too,” Stan asked his smile going to a deep frown. “He’ll come around Rich, this is you and Eddie.”

“Everyone keeps saying that,” Richie grumbled pulling his knees to his chest. “He hadn’t answered one text from me in weeks, he’s only come over three times.” Stan nodded. “He’s always with Bill.”

“Ben told me that Bev told him Eddie is overwhelmed,” Stan replied watching Richie roll his eyes.

“I need out of this house,” Richie grumbled angrily leaning his head back against his headboard. “I feel like I’m on house arrest.”

“You did almost die,” Stan reminded him softly, Richie rolled his eyes again. “Maybe I can talk to your parents about letting you come out to lunch this weekend.”

“it’s not my parents you need to work around,” Richie informed him, looking up as Bev came walking into the room. Stan nodded in understanding.

Richie understood that he almost died. He understood that he scared everyone, he truly did. He had never seen Victoria look so worried over him. They had what most would categorize as a normal sibling relationship. Victoria was four years older than he was, and just started Harvard Law this year. She was the pride of many people here in Derry. Most didn’t go farther than the local community college or the university a few towns over. Many of the teacher went both places, as did several of the nurses and the professionals, it was just how Derry worked. No one really left.

Victoria Toizer had graduated six months early with her bachelors and won a full ride to Harvard Law. Everyone talked about her, everyone looked at Richie wondering what he would do. Most would be shocked to know he was the head of his class. They looked to Bev because they knew her passion was in fashion. Most assumed she’d move to New York, but she wanted to go to UCLA. Apparently they had one of the best programs in the country. She wanted to live in Italy, she wanted to travel the world, she wanted more than what could ever be given to here. 

Bev and Victoria had been on him since the moment he woke up. Visiting him constantly, calling him all day long, he was about to declare himself an only child. Maggie and Wentworth were trying to ease their daughters’ fears, but it was just making Richie crazy. He wasn’t asking for much, he just wanted a day alone. A day without Bev popping in and asking him a million questions about what he did all day. "You aren't over doing it are you?" "Did you take your medications?" "Drink more water, soda is bad for you." It was an endless sea of questions. Ben had mentioned Richie coming to the store with them last night and Bev about had a heart attack right there. He understood she was scared, but she couldn’t keep him locked away forever.

“Stan I didn’t know you were here,” Bev questioned her face crinkling in confusion. Richie rolled his eyes.

“That’s because I let him in dear,” Maggie stated walking into the room with a tray of cookies. She walked pass Bev with an amused look on her face. “Stanley you still love oatmeal raisin?”

“Yes Mrs. Tozier,” Stan grinned as she placed the tray down, Maggie’s cookies were legendary. It was like all the love and kindness she had went straight into each cookie.

“Don’t worry sweetheart,” Maggie smirked looking at Richie's sour look. “There’s also peanut butter and chocolate chip.” Maggie laughed as Richie’s smile perked up, he may be seventeen, but he’ll always be her little boy. “Eddie should be up here soon.”

“Eddie is here,” Richie asked looking behind her as Stan grabbed two cookies happily. “Aren’t you going to dinner at Bills soon?” Stan shrugged at him.

“Have you ever had dinner at Bill’s,” Stan asked taking a bite of his cookie as Richie thought then shook his head no. “Count yourself lucky.” Bev giggled, also knowing how bad dinner there was. Richie laughed until he saw him. 

“Eddie,” Richie announced happily, Maggie smiled softly as she moved out of the way so he could come in.

“I should get going to Bill’s house,” Stan stated picking up two more cookies, not missing how Eddie’s face frowned at the mention of Bill’s house. “The cookies as always were incredible Mrs. Tozier.”

Maggie smiled happily as Stan gave her his first real smile in what she can honestly say was ages. She still had not gotten to the bottom of what really happened, but she was working on it. Wentworth wanted her to let it go, but something told her not to. Stan had been so isolated, then his public outburst as well as cheating on Eddie was just so unlike him. She knew Richie had a kind soul, she knew he was forgiving, but it was clear that Eddie was not. Bill also seem to be warming back up to Stan. 

Bev glared at her mother as she motioned for her to follow. Maggie knew her daughter was scared, knew that almost losing Richie had shook her to her core. While Wentworth was willing to keep letting Bev and Victoria overreact and make people feel bad she was not. Soon Bev was walking down the stairs with her, Maggie smiled. Richie had been so sad without Eddie, and she was not ashamed to say she might have slightly intervened. Calling in help from Conor, who was all but happy to lean his service. 

He would not say to her what they talked about, but he told her Eddie just needed someone to listen. Then like an almost Thanksgiving Day miracle he showed up here today, walking in like he had since he was seven. Eddie was probably her favorite of Richie’s friends. There was just something about him that she loved and wanted to protect. Maybe it was because she knew how horrible Sonia was, how Eddie’s father, Frank had deserved better. Maybe it was because she missed Frank, he had been one of her closest friends. They always joked about Victoria and Eddie falling in love, Maggie giggled.

“I know how Bev gets when you are hurt,” Eddie mumbled holding up a bag of food, Richie smiled. Eddie smiled back because how could he not when Richie smiled like that.

“Spaghetti from my Eddie Spaghetti,” Richie laughed as Eddie pulled out the containers, he rolled his eyes.

“Don’t make me regret listening to your Uncle,” Eddie sighed watching Richie’s face drop instantly, like he was sucker punched. “What?”

“What are you talking about,” Richie asked, Eddie stopped looking confused. “Did Conor talk you into coming here?” Eddie dropped his shoulders realizing Richie hadn’t sent Conor to talk to him. “Oh.”

“Richie,” Eddie started watching Richie face just crumble, Eddie felt sick.

“I’m not hungry right now,” Richie mumbled pushing the food containers away.

Eddie felt his heart break instantly because Richie was always hungry. He could eat two large pizza and still have room for more, it was sometimes disgusting how much food he could consume. He loved spaghetti, especially when he knew Eddie made it. It seemed to always make him smile extra since one of his nick names for Eddie was Eddie Spaghetti. So watching Richie push the food away from him, watching him turn from Eddie, claiming he wasn’t hungry broke Eddie’s heart in a way he didn’t think was possible. 

Eddie had assumed Richie had asked Conor to come see him. It was no secret that Eddie was avoiding Richie. It would probably shock Richie to his core that Bill had been defending him. Mike even thought Eddie needed to face whatever he was trying to hide from. Bev wouldn’t look at him, and he didn’t ever look at Stan anymore. Today was the first time since Richie pulled him out of the water that he had been this close to him. Looking at him didn’t hurt anymore, it was nice. Almost. He hadn’t loved Stan he had been wanting Richie the whole time. He came to Richie after they broke up. Richie was it for him. 

Conor understood he needed time, he needed space. But he also knew that Richie had a right to know what was going on. Eddie hadn’t contacted him in three weeks unless he was with Bill, even then he rarely said anything. It was nice to talk to someone who listened, like Richie listened. He missed Richie, but it was hard to look at him. It was hard because all he saw was him in bed with Stan, him diving into that water to save Stan, him sitting next to Stan. He was angry, but Conor was right. So he made Richie spaghetti. 

“Richie,” Eddie mumbled.

“When did you and my _uncle_ become so close,” Richie asked angry trying to hold back the tears.

“What,” Eddie laughed, groaning when Richie pulled his blankets over his head curing into a ball. Richie always felt raw when he opened-up to people. So when he did he usually hid away after. “Don’t be stupid.” Eddie regretted his words the moment he heard the muffled sounds of Richie’s cries. Only Eddie knew how sensitive Richie could be. “I thought you sent him to talk to me. He found me after school yesterday.” Eddie looked down, shame over taking him. Now realizing how much he had hurt Richie. He had honestly thought that Richie had moved on, he had heard Bev complaining about him sneaking off with some guy a few towns over. “Please talk to me.”

“No,” Richie snapped as Eddie moved the containers of food and cookies off the bed.

“You kind of just did,” Eddie smiled moving on the bed to sit next to him, he could hear him grumble and mutter. “Richie.” Eddie knew he was whining now, but he needed Richie to talk to him.

Richie couldn’t stop the tears from coming. The moment his mom told him Eddie was here, Richie felt like he was flying. Then to see him walk in the room, his curly hair flopping all around. His dark eyes wide as he met Richie’s, he felt good again. Richie hasn’t realized how much of what Eddie was doing to him hurt until he walked into the room. It was like everyone faded away, he recalled Stan leaving but he didn’t know what he said to him. He knew his mom left and then he realized Bev had gone too. It was finally just Richie and Eddie.

Then Eddie was talking, and Richie could only smile because he was here. Then he was pulling out spaghetti, his favorite. Well at least Eddie thought it was, but mainly because of all the jokes he made. Richie was so blissfully happy until the moment he wasn’t. Until Eddie opened his mouth and popped the bubble that he had been in. Richie’s stomach turned sour, his felt his lungs constrict, and he just wanted to fade away once again. He couldn't helps the tears that filled his eyes. Eddie hadn’t come back to him because he wanted to, he had come back because Conor had talked him into coming back. He had told Conor to leave it be, but obviously his uncle had thought he could help.

He buried himself under his blankets safe away from Eddie’s face. Because he knew once he saw how hurt Eddie was, once he saw Eddie’s own tears he would crumble. He would tell him it was okay, he’d make some joke, and once again Richie would feel bad but plaster a fake smile. As Eddie talked he was trying to be funny, he was trying to be light, he was trying to be like they always were. Only this time Richie couldn’t do it. Richie had lost Eddie once to Stan, had to endure all that for months. He would not do it again. If Eddie didn’t want him anymore than he’d have to let him go. As Eddie got that whine in his voice, the whine that always broke Richie’s resolve he hoped he had enough strength to walk away. 

“If you want to talk go find my uncle,” Richie snapped, he needed to stay angry. Eddie wanted to roll his yes but the betrayal in Richie’s voice was crystal clear. “Or maybe Bill, since you seem to prefer their company over mine.” Eddie watched Richie sit up angrily wipe his face smearing tears all over his lenses.

“I’m sorry,” Eddie told him his dark brown eyes full of shame and sadness. “I just needed to clear my head.”

“By talking to everyone but me,” Richie grumbled with a pout

“I thought you moved on,” Eddie admitted his fingers playing with Richie’s sheet, he looked up to see Richie’s confused face. “Bev was talking about how you been spending all your time with this Clive guy. How you almost broke curfew twice.” Richie closed his eyes sucking in a deep breath. He was going to kill his sister. “Then you and Stan…”

“Now you are being stupid,” Richie sighed rubbing his eyes. “Clive is Clive Sweeny. The guy that runs the community theater.” Richie started watching Eddie process his words. “He helped run the comedy show you took me to. I started attending some of his night classes.” 

“Wait” Eddie stuttered shaking his head in confusion. "So..." Richie rolled his eyes again.

“You are an idiot,” Richie laughed seeing his truly confused baffled expression. “But luckily you're cute.” Eddie crinkled his face. "Cute Cute Cute" Richie said booping his nose. Eddie was wanted to frown but he couldn’t help but smile when Richie was smiling at him like that. “Where’s my spaghetti?”

Now Eddie rolled his eyes slipped out of the bed over to the stand he had put the spaghetti and cookies. Richie smiled as Eddie opened the container and handed him the fork. Eddie mocked a disgusted face as Richie started to eat the spaghetti cold. Both of them knowing full well that he too had ate it like this more than once. Eddie laughed as he shoved a fork full of noodles into his mouth as he looked up. Richie was truly one of the most disgusting people Eddie knew. How was beyond Eddie. He knew for a fact that Maggie had taught him manners and proper etiquette but Richie just seemed to ignore them. 

Eddie ran downstairs to grab Richie something to drink, and maybe a few dozen napkins. He was happy not to see Bev anywhere around, she could be way intimidating. Especially when it came to Richie or Ben. When Bill had mentioned coming over she told him no, then got all huffy when Mike showed up anyway. Ben had calmed her down. Mike had explained coolly she told Bill no she didn’t mention him or anyone else. Ben had tried to remind her that yes Richie meant a lot to her, but Richie meant just as much to everyone else. Stan was his best friend, Bill and Eddie had known him their entire lives; Richie was a part of them too. He had saved them all. 

Richie laughed as Eddie held up the napkins he brought, because Richie ate like a toddler at times. Richie was acting like he hadn’t eaten in weeks, then Eddie recalled Ben mentioning they had him on a light diet. He had issues with keeping down food for a while. Ben only knew because he brought him a bag of candy and Bev stole it claiming he wasn’t allowed sugar yet. Eddie could only imagine what she would do to him if Bev saw the large amount of spaghetti Richie was shoveling into his mouth. 

“Soooo...," Eddie sighed nervously waiting for Richie to look at him his body swaying back and forth. "You haven’t been seeing anyone,” Eddie asked softly trying to keep his tone passive. He didn’t want to sound hurt or jealous because Richie had every right. He had been with Stan.

“No,” Richie told him wiping off his face, taking his glasses off to wipe with the napkin.

“You are so disgusting,” Eddie laughed taking his glasses to clean them off with the cleaner and cloth he had got him over a year ago. “Better.” Eddie asked pushing the glasses on Richie’s face. Richie nodded. “Perfect.” Eddie took the dirty napkins tossing them away. “Now you need to rest.”

“Are you seeing Bill,” Richie whispered, he needed to know. Eddie looked at him like he had grown an extra eye. Now Richie felt stupid.

“Is this going to be a regular thing,” Eddie asked hands going to his hips as he scrunched his face in frustration. Richie was confused. “Your jealousy.” Richie face crinkled up in annoyance, Eddie rolled his eyes in a laugh. Richie looked adorable. “I don’t have a crush on your uncle, who is basically my uncle by the way.” Eddie stated walking towards him as he spoke, when Richie opened his mouth, Eddie covered it with his hand. “Bill is my friend, that’s all.” Richie nodded, smiled as Eddie leaned forward to kiss the top of his head. “Now rest.”

Neither one of them noticing Conor and Maggie watching amused.

XOXO

Bev had argued with her mother until Wentworth had calmed her down, Richie was being allowed to leave today. Bev would have been okay with that, but he wanted to go to the club house. Bev had been great with him going somewhere. She knew everyone had missed him, and she knew Stan and Bill were talking again. Eddie and Stan still had not spoken since their breakup, but she hoped in time they would. She had imagined a warm place, like a diner, or the arcade. But no her idiot brother wanted to go to a drafty cold damp club house in the middle of the woods, in late November. 

He had also invited everyone, had declared it a Loser’s Thanksgiving party. He had told Stan that attendance was required. Told Eddie he would wear an extra layer and would even use hand sanitizer when Eddie brought up germs and bacteria. Maggie had made two large lasagnas with Bev’s help, though she didn’t think this should be happening. Ben and Mike were given the tasks of bringing other side food items. Bill was in charge of plates, forks, and napkins, while Stan was bringing a desert. They were told that Eddie was helping Richie, but no one knew what that meant. Richie had told everyone to dress nice. 

That was why he was dressed in his nice button up and jacket, clean slacks and nice shoes that he hated. His hair was combed, glasses cleaned, he even forwent his earring. He thought about wearing it, he knew Eddie liked it. Eddie walked in smiling at how nice he looked. They hadn’t really talked about what they were yet, but they had time. They came early to set the place up, Richie knew this had to be perfect. Everyone needed to be in the same room. Everyone needed to sit down together, they needed to remind each other they were family too. 

Bev stopped when she walked in to see Richie had decorated the place, he had cleaned the place. Like she was sure she had never seen the place so clean. No wonder he had been filthy when he came home last night and this morning. There was a table with seven chairs, a tablecloth that she knew he picked up at some thrift store or dollar store. A centerpiece that Eddie brought found or brought from home, but it was nice. Eddie took the two warm containers of lasagna and bread from Ben. Their mother had placed them in something to keep them warm. 

Bill and Mike came next shocked by how good the place looked. Bill brought plain white paper plates, plastic silverware and a thing of solo cups. Richie had brought several things of two liters of soda. Ben and Bev laughed, it looked like Conor lent Richie use of his portable heater. The place wasn't exact as warm as a house would be but it was still nice. Stan walked in last, it was clear he had been outside for awhile because his face was bright red. Eddie smiled at him taking the two pies from him, Stan smiled back. 

"I propose a toast to our host," Bev smiled standing up holding up her solo cup, all eyes falling onto her brother. "To my brother, who even in the darkness never gave up."

"To Richie," everyone cheered, Richie just turned red. For once he remained silent.

The dinner was awkward. Stan and Eddie kept looking at each other, Stan was full of remorse and Eddie was still upset. But today was a start, today was a day of rebuilding bridges. They sat at the table Wentworth let them use, they ate the food they all prepared, and drank soda while making jokes. For the first time in maybe almost a year, they were friends again. Richie was Trashmouth, getting them all to roll their eyes tossing napkins at him while laughing. Eddie was watching him with heart in his eyes. Bev was sitting closer to Ben as he watched her with hearts in his eyes. Bill and Mike kept changing the subject when Richie got to be too much like Richie can be. It was the perfect Friendsgiving dinner.

Eddie sent them all away told them he'd clean up. He wanted to make sure it was done properly. They all stayed behind anyways and helped happily. Ben and Bev were going to take Conor his heater back, Mike said he take care of the trash bags, Bill giving him a ride. Stan walking with them giving Richie and Eddie a wave goodbye, after he and Eddie talked. The decorations came down, Richie and Eddie boxed everything up. All Richie had to do was load the table and chairs into his truck. He felt good, this was a really good day. 

Eddie watched Richie sit down. Eddie could not help how his heart grew two sizes watching Richie. Richie had done this. Stan and him were talking again. Looking into Stan's eyes it was like all the pain and hate he felt melted away. Hugging Stan goodbye felt freeing, waving to him felt right. They all felt free. Sharing this meal, was what they needed and Richie somehow knew that. Richie knew they couldn't just show up together there had to be a grand jester. What bigger jester could sharing food they all prepared be. Sitting together, holding hand as Stan gave a _pray_ meant something. It wasn't about faith, it wasn't about the holiday, it was about them. It was about them and the bond that this place created. No matter what, they were bound together, they were Losers.

"It's snowing," Eddie giggled looking up blissful after they got the table into the bed of Richie's truck.

Eddie loved snow. He would watch outside of his window as it fell onto the ground. Loved how it sparkled, making the world seem brighter and cleaner. He was never allowed to play in it though. Sonia always going on and on about delicate he is. How he'll catch a cold, then pneumonia, before he knew it he would be in the hospital. So Eddie had to love it from a far. He could never sneak out because his neighbors would rat him out. Especially the old woman across the street. She hated him. 

Richie looked over at him, Eddie looked perfect. Snowflakes just falling from the sky as Eddie looked up with such wonder. He looked almost like an angel as the snow covered his hair, and he stuck out his small pink tongue to catch them. He looked so pure in this moment. Sometimes he forgot how deep Sonia's abuse of him went. Not that Eddie would never call it that. He just thought she was scared, losing his dad took a toll on her. But Richie had heard Sonia was always like this. There were even whispers that they only married because she got pregnant, and it was Sonia who killed him. But those were only rumors.

Eddie looked at Richie smiling so happy. Richie leaned down connecting their lips, Eddie hands going straight for Richie's face. That's when Eddie felt what he never felt with Stan. Pulling Richie closer, his finger thread through silk dark hair. Richie tasted like everything that Eddie had ever wanted. When the kiss ended Richie placed his forehead against his, leaning them against his truck. Neither one of them wanting to open their eyes. Neither one of them wanting to break this moment. Richie smiled as Eddie places small kisses on his face until he opened his eyes.

"Hi," Eddie smiled touching Richie's face like he was the most precious thing in the world.

"Hi," Richie repeated back unable to mask how deeply this kiss affected him.

"Are you free tomorrow night," Eddie asked his thumb wiping his Richie's tears away. Richie nodded. "I was thinking maybe we could maybe go on a date." Richie smiled closing his eyes as Eddie caressed his face. "You know one that you actually know you are on this time."

"I'll pick you up," Richie smiled leaning forward to kiss Eddie's forehead, as Eddie clung to him. 

Eddie knew he should get home, he knew his mother was waiting for him but he didn't care. He finally had Richie, and the rest could just wait a little bit.

The End

**Author's Note:**

> Story Request Prompt: 1500 words or less; Richie and Eddie go on a date but Richie doesn't realize it until months after Eddie has started dating Stan. 
> 
> First Chapter is the original request. 
> 
> This isn't an anti-Stan story, it's all going somewhere.


End file.
